Who Is Loving?

Kamloops, South Thompson River

For the past six to eight months, I have been experiencing an unusual phenomenon. It is both deeply inward and relational at the same time.

It is not a feeling I am familiar with. And I think it has everything to do with the profound shift many of us are beginning to experience as our human potential becomes more apparent. Some of us write about it. Some of us create new levels of art. Some of us are simply kinder and slower in our daily lives.

This new feeling usually takes me by surprise. It feels like a tide rising from within me, and I become submerged in her beauty. The sensation is distinctly feminine.

To be more specific—when I am with someone, it is as if I am feeling how much they are loved. My heart, and yes, my whole body, literally senses how much this person is cherished. It is almost painful to experience, as the person seems unaware of this love for them.

And it doesn’t feel like I am doing the loving. It is a foreign kind of love for the personality called Laura.

It’s not that I don’t feel love for people—but this is a different quality of love. It feels like power. It feels unconditionally clear and uncompromising.

I am touching into a timeless dimension where the soul lives. What I am experiencing is the person’s soul loving them. My soul is experiencing their soul loving them.

It is more than love. It is exquisite, tender cherishing—independent of what that person is experiencing at the time. It doesn’t arise when someone is in trouble or particularly happy. It seems, at this point, beautifully random.

I cannot say this is a stable state of consciousness within me either—but it is definitely a new trend. Over the last six to eight months, it has been increasing and always taking me by surprise. Perhaps that is why I had the intuition, almost a year ago, to name this Substack Surprised by Grace.

Given that I have been working with the Merkaba symbol as a spiritual practice for the past eight years, I believe it has everything to do with that sustained practice. This sacred geometric symbol is described as the “flowering of life.” Perhaps life is now flowering within me in ways that are beyond me—and perhaps that is the whole point of engaging with the Merkaba as a spiritual practice.

We are being orchestrated by a deeper dimension of life. At least, that is my experience.

The ICM—the Inner Constellation Mobile—emerged as a practice modality from the Merkaba symbol, given to me in a mystical vision after eight years of facilitating silence practice with groups. Then spiritual teacher Thomas Hübl offered a doctoral degree through his Academy of Inner Science, which I am now completing as a PhD in the Merkaba as a mystical science, an inner-flowering, a return home.

So perhaps you too are experiencing shifts in your inner dimensions — a different quality of relational contact with the world around you.

Be still and listen. I am sure you will discover a new potential within you. We live in exceptional times, and I believe they will orchestrate exceptional leaps in our consciousness.

In one sense, it is simply us remembering who we are—coming home into a spiritual embodiment where the conditioned personality self is absorbed within the beauty of our timeless dimension.

Whatever it is that I am experiencing, it is exquisitely good. May it be so within you.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate your comments, reflections, and “likes.” If you wish to support my work through a paid subscription, I am also grateful.